You, you, you. #Thoughts

And maybe I do envy you. Envy your recklessness, how brave and free you are. You don’t care about consequences or other people’s feelings. At least, not much. You break rules and you make them, you drive away in the night and chase your demons. You play all these games, but you play them oh so well. Living on the edge, exploring and experiencing. It’s your way of doing everything. It’s the way you sin. You live your life to the fullest, because you know you don’t live forever. But maybe you live a little too much, for your body to take.

You’re distant and rude, you’re controlling and manipulative. I can’t stay mad at you, although I want to, real bad. I tried, oh god, I tried to forget, to not forgive and to move on. But you, you keep lingering in my mind. I keep repeating your meaningful and meaningless words, again and again. Your touch haunts me, paralyses and enchants me. I wish we’d never met, so I could easily forget you. But your eyes are dangerous, your voice is sweet. You make me question everything, you make me lose my mind and you make me weak.

You’re unconventional and different and you know it. I will never be able to fully know you. You talk and talk, and you’re using words so well. You’re clever and you know exactly how to let me change my mind. You’re getting away with it, with everything.

Your point of view is so different. Your view on life is nothing like mine. Our morals are not alike, our priorities are never the same. I’m stubborn and so are you. But still you succeed in making me question myself, my thoughts, my views and opinions. But besides all our differences, I feel we have so much in common. But we don’t, do we? And maybe we never even will.

I can’t tell and I can’t explain, why I am drawn to you. But I am. You attract me like a magnet, but you push me away every time. I don’t think you even realise, how much it hurts. How bad it is being ignored, being pushed aside. Or do you know and do you just not care? You say you don’t have time, but is it only time that’s lacking?

You like to keep the mystery, to keep yourself covered. You won’t let me in, like I let you in. Are you afraid or disinterested that much? Are you bored already or is it not me and are you just running away from love?

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