The face of December I guess I’m still healing, even though I thought I’d be over it by now. December forces me to face the scars I’m wearing under my skin, the tears I have been hiding away behind my eyes and commands me to break through this positivity I’ve been hiding in. I’ve spent … Continue reading The face of December
I didn’t realise how far gone I was, how I lost myself, until I found little pieces of myself back again in places I hadn’t been for a long time. I found parts in the mirror on my wardrobe, in lyrics of the songs that I once wrote, in the laughter of my family and … Continue reading L.o.s.t.m.y.s.e.l.f.
living with a rapid cycling bipolar disorder is… … waking up in the morning and feeling on top of the world, then a minuscule event happens, like a bad feedback on your work or a message you sent that is being ignored, and your world falls apart – all the happy feelings disappear and a … Continue reading What living with a (rapid cycling) bipolar disorder feels like…
life’s getting better. the sun started to shine again. the mornings are lighter & the nights a little less heavy. the nightmares are gone. my mind is clearer now. my hands stopped shaking & my stomach doesn’t hurt anymore. my eyes aren’t burning anymore. my breath reminds me of being alive. i feel grateful. for … Continue reading life’s getting better.
Sometimes I forget to be proud of myself. I’ve been so hard on myself ever since the day I was born. Always striving for perfection, feeling guilty when resting & feeling like I’ve never done enough, like I never tried hard enough. But God, how hard I tried, how hard I try, every day again. … Continue reading Proud
I don’t think pain fades. I know memories fade, but can also be brought back easily by a reminder through the senses. But once love fades, was it even love in the first place? I don’t know, maybe? I knew that it was love, because no matter how hurt I was, I never stopped loving. … Continue reading Never Fade
I’m full of melancholy, my soul is filled with sadness, but also with wonder, faith and hunger. I’m defined by my dreams, guided by my soul, but I’m being haunted by the world at times. Sometimes depression takes the best of me, while bringing out the worst in me. Whenever this happens, I find it … Continue reading 10 Things That Help Me When Depression Keeps Me Hostage
Freedom is amazing, liberating and all I want But freedom is limiting, in a sense, causes me a heavy heart Although, ‘limiting’ might not be the right word Perhaps, freedom is just ‘scary’, in a way I’m full of responsibility and surrounded by so many possibilities I can’t blame no one else, I can’t blame … Continue reading These Days
I know I can be too much I love too much, I think too much, I want too much It’s just that I don’t know how to feel less Because feeling too much is all I’ve ever known It’s in my blood, my nerves, my bones, my brains, my soul It’s my oxygen, my fuel, … Continue reading Too. Much.
As I’m wandering the foreign streets, I can’t help but wonder The lives of all those strangers cross mine for a split second What are they doing here? What is their purpose? Is it just money or family, love or are they chasing their dreams? I’m not quite sure if it’s alright to say that … Continue reading City Sadness
Dreaming, Wandering, Exploring 