now i know. i needed this loneliness, i needed this pain and all the heartbreaks. i was meant to suffer in the dark, all by myself, isolated and detached. the anxiety, the panic, the depression, the sadness, the emptiness was all needed for me to grow. it forced me to fight, to find the light, [...]
How hard I tried, to blend in Our colours continued to clash I tried to adjust the contrast, the saturation and the colour-depth But in the end, all that was left, was a shade that had decayed, that has lost its brightness, while trying to match
living with a rapid cycling bipolar disorder is... ... waking up in the morning and feeling on top of the world, then a minuscule event happens, like a bad feedback on your work or a message you sent that is being ignored, and your world falls apart - all the happy feelings disappear and a [...]
Sometimes I forget to be proud of myself. I've been so hard on myself ever since the day I was born. Always striving for perfection, feeling guilty when resting & feeling like I've never done enough, like I never tried hard enough. But God, how hard I tried, how hard I try, every day again. [...]
Look at all these words she spits on paper All this screaming, all this incurable desperation She doesn’t want to, but she sees no other way to release herself from her hunger, her pain & ponder To extricate herself from the hopelessness & emptiness that keeps her hostage She stays haunted by the rose-coloured past [...]
"I need to kill the hope that is buried inside of me, I need to take its life, before it takes mine."
Our love story: So brutally broken, so beautifully writtenWe burned so bright, but our light dimmed so swiftlyLike a candle in the wind, we faded, like a raindrop in the ocean, we dissolved, in the crowd again, after a short amount of timeWe walk among the people in the busy streets, for now we are [...]