Silence. #Thoughts

This angelic creature was tortured by demonic thoughts. He could not escape, as he laid there in his unmade bed, in complete silence. There was an empty bottle of rum besides his matress and a few unopened letters. The air in the room was dirty and I could smell a scent of unwashed laundry. There were cigarettes on his table and a glass full of water, still untouched. His suits were the only objects that he handled with care, but only because he was so occupied with his job and his work seemed to be the only factor keeping him alive. I couldn’t help but let my eyes wander through every corner of the room. It was a choas; a perfect reflection of the battle in his mind. I wasn’t sure if I had to keep silent or if I had to calm him with soothing words. He didn’t appreciate my efforts of making him feel better in past days, so I imagined his reaction would be one of a cold-hearted nature. I could barely hear him searching for oxygen. It was because my hand rested on his back, that I could feel him breathing. His chest was rising and falling again, but in a pace I wouldn’t consider healthy. I pushed my hand against the back of his corps and tried to transfer the little energy I had left in my body. I wasn’t sure if it would do any good, but I had some good experiences before with channeling energy; it was worth a try. But nothing happened. He just laid there, as if the devil sucked the life out of him. I was clueless. I tried to sing for him, to shelter him, I ran my fingertips across his back and rushed my hand though his hair. But there was no movement in him. He wasn’t alive, but he wasn’t dead either. It scared me to see him like this.

I remember meeting him for the very first time. He came across as a mentally stable, extremely funny and intelligent man. One that knew exactly what he was doing. He was twenty five and he was in posession of a law degree. He did well in this capitalistic world, but I don’t think this way of life made him happy. God, there was a lot beneath his surface. And he told me before, about these demons that were haunting him, but I didn’t realise how bad the pursuit was. But I couldn’t help him, I couldn’t save him, because he didn’t want me to get any closer. With every step I took towards him, he took two steps back.

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