The Gap Where My Heart Used To Be

She wanted it so bad
Not needing anyone

She prayed so hard
She could be perfectly happy by herself
But the more she tried to be content with her own company
The more lonely she felt

And she could admit that all along it was love that she needed
But she didn’t want that to be the case
She didn’t want to rely on other people for her own happiness
People had a habit of letting her down, in every possible way

She went chasing her passions, she filled her time with doing the things she loved
Her art, her music, her writings and poetry
But it was not enough

This empty gap was expanding
Taking up all the space in the place where her heart used to be
Although her heart was yearning, craving for a connection
She promised herself she wouldn’t be let by shallow actions

But her trust was gone, her faith had run off
Being alone was better than being with someone who wasn’t able to give her love
She told herself
Maybe it wasn’t so bad to just be in love with herself