Lost in June #Thoughts

I’m trying to find comfort in the uncomfortable

I don’t feel at home anymore in my own home

I sleep with my eyes open wide

Wake up everytime, in the middle of the night

Days are passing by, each day faster than the last

Working days are exhausting, but they will all be past

Try to keep myself together

Telling myself the future will be better

Thinking about heartbreak and the ones that got away

Love too hard and fall too fast

But none of it is build to last

Feeling loneliest in the break of dawn

When moonlight shines and the night has begun

Holding on to memories and meant to be’s

Romanticizing things that used to be

I don’t want to be where I am now

But change happens slowly, doesn’t happen overnight

That I know nothing is all I know, but somehow

I keep being blinded by the light

Try to take it in, step by step and day by day

Focus on my breathing, it’ll all be okay

Asking myself “Is this all that there is?”

Or is it constructed, forced and made to be like this?

I don’t want to follow, serve your precious needs

I was made to wander, wonder, to live not caged but free

But that’s how the world works these days

That’s why everyone is bruised, everyone’s in pain

The weight of the world is on my shoulders

Want to save the world, but it leaves me broken

It hurts my heart when I look around the streets

People are ignorant and foolish and selfish

“It’s still me right?” I tell my mirror-self

Lately I’ve been feeling different

I’m feeling like I don’t know myself

I don’t know what I want, who I am or who I want to become

I want to define and I should stop

Although I crave for answers, I crave for love

Uncertainty is killing me

Leaves me lost and makes me questioning

I leave the ones that love me

And cry for the ones who forgot about me

That’s how I notice I’m not well again

Distaning myself from family and friends

Not noticing the clouds in the sky, the lights at night

The rising of the sun and the birds that fly

After all I have faith and I still anticipate

Trust the process and have hope

That tomorrow will be better and my dreams will find their way

Back to my heart, back to my state of mind

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